Bride flips out when her grandparents-in-law request slow songs at 'MY wedding.' AITA? UPDATED

"AITA for not wanting any slow songs at MY wedding?"

So this happened about a year ago and my husband's parents turned completely sour on me because of it, so I need to know if I was being an asshole or not. I am an avid dancer, it is my main passion. Throughout my life, I have taken lessons in ballet, salsa, belly dancing, tango, lindy hop, hip hop, and capoeira.

I don't like slow dancing, I like fast dancing, with fast music, and that's how I wanted my wedding to be. A lot of my closest friends are also dancers since I've been dancing since I was 5, and I even met my husband in my capoeira class, so he loves to dance, too.

So here's the story - my reception was totally poppin', everyone was having a blast, and then all of sudden I hear what sounds like True Love Ways by Buddy Holly. I know this song because in my lindy hop classes we learned a lot of 50s music, but come on, Buddy Holly has faster songs I would have been fine with! Why did the DJ just put on his slowest, most boring song, I wondered?

Well, when I approached him, he told me my husband's grandparents had requested this song. I'll admit I was pretty drunk at the time so I basically told him, no, screw them, change the song, I don't want this crap playing. I was so pumped for my reception, the liquid courage was running through me, and I wanted to keep dancing my ass off with my husband and all our friends.

At first the DJ tried to protest, but I reminded him who's day it was, and he eventually complied and changed the song. I didn't think it was a big deal since it was MY wedding, after all, but apparently my husband's parents got super pissed.

My MIL called us yelling that True Love Ways was the song her parents had their first dance to at their wedding and, "they just wanted to have one special moment at their first grandchild's wedding". I flat out told her they've had plenty of special moments at their anniversaries to play their favorite song, they could renew their vows and have their own damn wedding and put it on replay all night for all I care, and I would deal with it without having a fit on THEIR day,

so why couldn't they do the same for me? I repeat, it was MY wedding, and I wanted fast music only. Even our first song was a fast song - it was Hips Don't Lie, FFS, because that was the first song we ever danced to as a couple. Anyway, they've slowly but surely been wearing my husband down, and now he's starting to say I need to apologize.

I don't get why I need to apologize when his grandparents aren't even the ones who are upset, it's just his parents who are bitching nonstop. I'm hoping the feedback from this post will help my husband realize his parents are gaslighting him again (they're total narcissists), so what do you guys think? Was I TA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

GreenEyedAP said:

You’re calling them total narcissists but you couldn’t give up literally three minutes for one song at your reception for two old people? This and your entire attitude in your post speaks to a much larger issue.

You’ll get a bunch of people saying you’re fine because it’s your wedding but it’s your husband’s wedding too and you managed to offend his family. Over a song. It wouldn’t have hurt in any way to let it go for a few minutes. Literally the entire rest of the day was all about you. YTA.

sheramom4 said:

YTA. Your wedding reception is suppose to be enjoyable for ALL of your guests. Otherwise why bother inviting them? I am sure you and your dancer friends had a great time while everyone else sat there wondering why there wasn't a good mix of music. This is event planning 101. Make sure the guests are having a good time.

The wedding is your moment and the reception is the celebration with family and friends as well as the thank you for people attending. And to say "No. Screw them" about your husband's grandparents? Someone is a narcissist here and it doesn't seem like it is the parents or grandparents.

KittySnowpants said:

YTA. It’s pretty common at weddings for guests to request a song during the reception. By waiting until after the song was playing to demand that it be turned off, you publicly shamed your husband’s grandparents.

That is the kind of thing a drunk AH would do. And the thing is, your wedding isn’t YOURS. It’s also YOUR HUSBAND’S. And I’m betting your husband wouldn’t want his grandparents humiliated and insulted at HIS wedding.

MsBaseball34 said:

YTA for this alone ... MY wedding ... MY, MY, MY. Was your husband even there? One song wouldn’t have been the end of the world.

BluesBelly said:

Yeeaahhh YTA. Tolerating a 4 minute song to make your husband's grandparents happy is not a lot to ask. Making a fuss about it is ridiculous. I'ma call bridezilla on this one.

Verdict: YTA.

She later shared this update to her post:

EDIT - okay so it's pretty obvious most of you think I'm an a$$hole, but I would really appreciate if you would stop calling me a "bridezilla", its such a sexist and outdated term. I also would appreciate if you would stop DMing me things like: "ME ME ME, MY MY MY. You’re really self absorbed and you suck."

"I’m sure his grandparents will be able to have their song played at his next wedding, once he realises what a b!tc# you are and divorces you. Dont be mad, it’s MY opinion" "I hope your new husband divorces you, if the story’s actually true. You sound as annoying as a “horse girl”. You sound like a pain in the ass." "Hope your husband leaves you"

These are actual DMs I've gotten. I'm not sure what a "horse girl" is but its probably some more sexist bull$h!t, so whatever. I also really appreciate the people who tried to understand my POV - and to answer some questions, yes, of course my husband and I agreed we only wanted fast music at the wedding, which is why he was originally on my side until his parents bullied him into submission like they always do.

As for who paid for the wedding - our families split the costs, but no one else who contributed felt entitled to request a song off the playlist, so I don't know why that should matter, but there you go. I doubt this will change any of your minds, though, so WHATEVER. I'm going to bed now. Hope you all sleep well.

Zzzzzzzzz.