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Every fake text message prank ever.

Nearly every text message prank on the web is so obviously fake it feels a little sad. To save valuable gigabytes of internet space, here's a template for every fake text message prank you've ever been told to read....

Dog vs shark.

This shark has an inflated sense of self. Just in time for Sharknado 2: The Second One, Maymo, the lemon beagle, has been trained to adequately protect you from air bound sharks, provided those sharks are remote...

Man tries to impress his lady-friend by jumping over a wall. It goes poorly.

Girls don't even like acrobatics. They like magic shows. Everyone knows this. (Via) He's already got a flair for the flamboyant with his matching purple shirt and long-shorts. No way is he going to let that wall go unhurtled, not...

An education blogger was fired for teaching students about homophones. Yes, you read that right.

Getting fired because the educational CEO you work for doesn't know what a homophone is is pretty dumb, and I don't mean "mute."...

This baby can't stop laughing while getting a tongue bath from a pit bull.

Don't worry, the dog is in no danger. (via)For every great pit bull story, like one running around a softball field stealing gloves, or the baby and pit bull besties that nearly shut down the Internet due to cuteness...

Stupid dumbass takes a selfie with a bull, gets trampled (duh).

Running with the bullshit....

A woman's pilot was drunk, and United Airlines didn't even fill in the (INSERT SPECIFICS) on their apology letter.

This is worse than the time I was accused of having (SPECIFIC DEVICE) and they probed my (ORIFICE) with a (DIFFERENT DEVICE) before telling me they gave away my seat because (INSERT B.S.)....

3-year-old wails on the drums with a symphony orchestra.

And you thought your toddler made a lot of noise.When I read headlines like this, where a toddler is doing something extraordinary, I always think to myself, "Is he actually extraordinary, or just toddler extraordinary?"This kid is...

An uncovered 1997 VHS tape teaches you how to "cybersex."

Topless without a webcam? This woman is a pioneer!Hey kids! Did you know that VHS (short for Video Home System, a consumer-level analog recording videotape-based cassette) existed during the time of the internet? Gross,...

Man questioned by police about his "guns" exercises right to bare arms.

The police blotter always delivers, and sometimes, in the case of one man from Northhampton, MA, it can be the best thing you'll read all day:...

Jonah Hill has a great Morgan Freeman story involving awkward silence and the "Name Game."

Jonah Jonah bo-Bonah, banana fana fo Fonah.Jonah Hill was a guest on the Graham Norton Show recently sitting next to Julie Andrews, and the subject appeared to be "fun with words." It's tough enough being entertaining on a...

What if rock musicians shredded on giant slugs instead of guitars?

James Hetfield rocks out on a Truckster Labella ajuthiae. For centuries now, there has been one question that has vexed humanity more than any other, before it or since: What if instead of creating music via a selection...