One way to keep alcohol and drugs out of the hands of kids is to make sure they're constantly carrying a crossbow. That's exactly why Second Amendment enthusiast, "Uncle" Ted Nugent, created his Kamps for Kids. The purpose, says Nugent, is "to attract American children into that higher level of awareness that is the discipline of the shooting sports." For any kids considering the remaining open spots for 2010, take our advice: it's safer to just go get hammered. (Via Esquire)
Chelsea Clinton will marry investment banker Marc Mezvinsky tomorrow in front of approximately 500 guests which won't include her mother's boss and destroyer of presidential ambition, Barack Obama. Obama played it cool on shitshow, The View, yesterday by saying, "You don't want two presidents at a wedding." We're assuming that means Bill made the cut.
Other Celebrity Birthdays for July 30!
Update: Worst birthday present ever? According to TMZ, Laurence Fishburne's 19-year-old daughter, Montana, is starring in a porno flick for Vivid Entertainment, explaining, "I've watched how successful Kim Kardashian became and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape." Perhaps she should have taken the other pill.
If the sweater within a sweater totally blew your mind, take a good hard look at these pizzas within a pizza. Is it possible someone has entered the dreams of this pizza to extract information, then got stuck there after being trapped by the pizza's wife? Even the thought of it has made us extremely hungry. (Via Comedy.com)
Let us know of other things within things you know about!
How many dimensions does this garment have? No one knows for sure. Just be careful not to fall asleep in it — you may wake up as a decrepit old Asian man in a beach castle. (Via BuzzFeed)
