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Happy Administrative Professionals Day to someone who doesn't think they're an Administrative Professional

Thanks for all the times you booked me on flights that didn't leave me stranded across the ocean under a giant cloud of ash

Sorry you have to work on the holiday honoring your work

Don't be alarmed but I'd appreciate it if you could teach me how to do your job over the next few weeks

We'd have gotten you a card signed by everyone but you're the one who organizes those things

Thanks for doing all the mind-numbing tasks that I'm overpaid to pretend to do

This Administrative Professionals Day, please order flowers for yourself from me

I appreciate the lunch offer but would rather just have the cash

Let's spend Administrative Professionals Day discussing what you really wanted to do with your life

I'm not your fucking secretary

Because it's Administrative Professionals Day, I'll pretend to care that you have an MFA

In lieu of greater respect or better pay, we'd like to offer you a pseudo-holiday

Happy Administrative Professionals Day to a great secretary

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