Happy anniversary to a great couple who are somehow related to me
Happy anniversary to a couple who almost never make me physically ill
Your anniversary is a sobering reminder that the last time I got laid was at your wedding
Here's to another year of me pretending to like your significant other
Happy anniversary from someone you're probably shocked knew it was your anniversary
Sorry you had to guilt me into acknowledging your anniversary
Let's celebrate our holy union by acting like horny single people
Marrying you was the best thing I've ever done for my vagina
Congratulations on defying marriage statistics
Let's never give up on trying to change each other
I hope we can never afford a divorce
I want to grow old and disgusting with you
Marrying you was the best thing I've ever done for my vagina