


Happy anniversary to a great couple who are somehow related to me

Happy anniversary to a couple who almost never make me physically ill

Your anniversary is a sobering reminder that the last time I got laid was at your wedding

Here's to another year of me pretending to like your significant other

Happy anniversary from someone you're probably shocked knew it was your anniversary

Sorry you had to guilt me into acknowledging your anniversary

Let's celebrate our holy union by acting like horny single people

Marrying you was the best thing I've ever done for my vagina