


Sorry two unicorns and I fucked you silly in my dream last night

Sorry you misinterpreted my brilliant joke as horribly offensive

Sorry I can't indicate my desire for morning sex in a manner other than furiously humping your back

I hope we can set aside our past differences and ultimately create new ones

Sorry I can't stop talking like Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs

Sorry for judging you, your friends, your family, and all your major life decisions

Sorry your high metabolism makes it difficult to be your friend