•  

    Sorry you confused 'playing hard to get' with my genuine disinterest.

    Sorry you confused "playing hard to get" with my genuine disinterest.

  •  

    I'm confident that my gluttonous Super Bowl feast will put an end to your ridiculous New Year's Resolution to lose weight.

    I'm confident that my gluttonous Super Bowl feast will put an end to your ridiculous New Year's Resolution to lose weight.

  •  

    Sorry for participating in an extremely oversaturated Internet meme.

    Sorry for participating in an extremely oversaturated Internet meme.

  •  

    Sorry that I haven't been in touch, but I've been really busy avoiding contacting you.

    Sorry that I haven't been in touch, but I've been really busy avoiding contacting you.

  •  

    Sorry your fear of having another panic attack caused another panic attack.

    Sorry your fear of having another panic attack caused another panic attack.

  •  

    Sorry Starbucks overcharged you for overpriced coffee beans.

    Sorry Starbucks overcharged you for overpriced coffee beans.

  •  

    Sorry to hear that daylight savings is the only savings you have left.

    Sorry to hear that daylight savings is the only savings you have left.

  •  

    Sorry that your decision to date a bad boy resulted in a boy treating you badly.

    Sorry that your decision to date a bad boy resulted in a boy treating you badly.

  •  

    I'm sorry that I keep apologizing for things.

    I'm sorry that I keep apologizing for things.

  •  

    I'm sorry you found my normal behavior to be highly inappropriate.

    I'm sorry you found my normal behavior to be highly inappropriate.

  •  

    Sorry you were mean to me when we were little and I grew up to be really hot.

    Sorry you were mean to me when we were little and I grew up to be really hot.

  •  

    Sorry I told everyone you have an eating disorder because you're thinner than me.

    Sorry I told everyone you have an eating disorder because you're thinner than me

  •  

    I apologize in advance for never calling you again after we have sex tonight.

    I apologize in advance for never calling you again after we have sex tonight.

  •  

    Sorry your girlfriend told me she's single.

    Sorry your girlfriend told me she's single.

  •  

    I'm sorry I didn't console you on your huge stock market loss because I was too focused on budgeting food and gas this week.

    I'm sorry I didn't console you on your huge stock market loss because I was too focused on budgeting food and gas this week.

  •  

    I'm sorry that I don't know the difference between Rosh Hashanah, Ramadan and a Ramada Inn.

    I'm sorry that I don't know the difference between Rosh Hashanah, Ramadan and a Ramada Inn.

  •  

    Sorry my inability to remove my old food from the office fridge gave you dysentery.

    Sorry my inability to remove my old food from the office fridge gave you dysentery.

  •  

    Sorry the speed with which I accepted your friend request terrified you.

    Sorry the speed with which I accepted your friend request terrified you.

  •  

    Sorry I only click 'like' on the vacation photos involving your significant other in a bikini.

    Sorry I only click "like" on the vacation photos involving your significant other in a bikini

  •  

    Sorry your car's fuel efficiency is rendered meaningless by the size of your ass.

    Sorry your car's fuel efficiency is rendered meaningless by the size of your ass.

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