•  

    Sorry I ruined summer.

    Sorry I ruined summer

  •  

    Sorry we used the entire tab of your two-hour open bar in 12 minutes.

    Sorry we used the entire tab of your two-hour open bar in 12 minutes

  •  

    I hope we can set aside our past differences and ultimately create new ones.

    I hope we can set aside our past differences and ultimately create new ones

  •  

    Sorry my Internet shorthand took you so long to comprehend.

    Sorry my Internet shorthand took you so long to comprehend

  •  

    Sorry my behavior was disturbing even by webcam standards.

    Sorry my behavior was disturbing even by webcam standards

  •  

    Sorry I left a shit stain on your vibrator.

    Sorry I left a shit stain on your vibrator

  •  

    Sorry for the misunderstanding and blue balls.

    Sorry for the misunderstanding and blue balls

  •  

    Sorry my seasonal affective disorder lasts all year round.

    Sorry my seasonal affective disorder lasts all year round

  •  

    Sorry I sporadically neglect your testicles during lovemaking.

    Sorry I sporadically neglect your testicles during lovemaking

  •  

    Sorry your high metabolism makes it difficult to be your friend.

    Sorry your high metabolism makes it difficult to be your friend

  •  

    Sorry you're eventually going to have to see me naked.

    Sorry you're eventually going to have to see me naked

  •  

    Sorry I didn't realize you wanted me to behave like a completely different person around your friends.

    Sorry I didn't realize you wanted me to behave like a completely different person around your friends

  •  

    Sorry you were confused or frightened by the name of my sketch or improv group.

    Sorry you were confused or frightened by the name of my sketch or improv group

  •  

    Sorry I occasionally forget to add email attachments.

    Sorry I occasionally forget to add email attachments

  •  

    Sorry I bet on you in a dead pool.

    Sorry I bet on you in a dead pool

  •  

    Sorry my self-absorption got in the way of yours.

    Sorry my self-absorption got in the way of yours

  •  

    Sorry you were wrongfully convicted and jailed for 15 years.

    Sorry you were wrongfully convicted and jailed for 15 years

  •  

    Sorry you were alarmed by my dog-eared, extensively underlined copy of American Psycho.

    Sorry you were alarmed by my dog-eared, extensively underlined copy of American Psycho

  •  

    Sorry I fell asleep before, during, or milliseconds after sex.

    Sorry I fell asleep before, during, or milliseconds after sex

  •  

    Sorry I have no pictures of you in my home.

    Sorry I have no pictures of you in my home

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