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    I'll wait until April Fool's is over to inform you that obviously you have no idea where my clitoris is located.

    I'll wait until April Fool's is over to inform you that obviously you have no idea where my clitoris is located.

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    I couldn't think of any clever pranks this year, so I sent your whole family a tasteful photo of my balls.

    I couldn't think of any clever pranks this year, so I sent your whole family a tasteful photo of my balls.

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    I never would have fallen for your April Fool's pregnancy prank if it wasn't for your reckless promiscuity.

    I never would have fallen for your April Fool's pregnancy prank if it wasn't for your reckless promiscuity.

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    I really wish I didn't have to remind you that staging a murder is not an appropriate April Fool's Day prank.

    I really wish I didn't have to remind you that staging a murder is not an appropriate April Fool's Day prank

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    I'm going to have trouble taking anything you say seriously today or any other day of the year.

    I'm going to have trouble taking anything you say seriously today or any other day of the year.

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    Let's use April Fool's as a cover for numerous sexual harassment violations.

    Let's use April Fool's as a cover for numerous sexual harassment violations

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    I'd wish you a happy birthday but I can't tell if Facebook is making an April Fool's joke.

    I'd wish you a happy birthday but I can't tell if Facebook is making an April Fool's joke

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    Sorry I mistook your announcement of a ghastly personal tragedy for an April Fool's joke.

    Sorry I mistook your announcement of a ghastly personal tragedy for an April Fool's joke

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    I'm going to go ahead and assume that setting me up with your highly undatable friend was your attempt at an April Fool's joke.

    I'm going to go ahead and assume that setting me up with your highly undatable friend was your attempt at an April Fool's joke

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    Happy Pretty Much Just Another Day Where Everything On The Internet Is Fake.

    Happy Pretty Much Just Another Day Where Everything On The Internet Is Fake.

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    Sorry your unhealthy lifestyle makes cardiac arrest a feasible outcome from an April Fool's joke.

    Sorry your unhealthy lifestyle makes cardiac arrest a feasible outcome from an April Fool's joke

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    Sorry I assumed you were playing an April Fool's Day prank when you sincerely sent me a website's lame April Fool's Day prank.

    Sorry I assumed you were playing an April Fool's Day prank when you sincerely sent me a website's lame April Fool's Day prank.

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    if you'd have sex with me tonight I'd be perfectly fine with you telling everyone it was just an April Fool's joke.

    if you'd have sex with me tonight I'd be perfectly fine with you telling everyone it was just an April Fool's joke

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    May your playful April Fool's Day prank help make your multi-billion dollar corporation appear slightly less evil.

    May your playful April Fool's Day prank help make your multi-billion dollar corporation appear slightly less evil.

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    I intend to abuse your kind, trusting nature for the sake of my own moderate, short-lived amusement.

    I intend to abuse your kind, trusting nature for the sake of my own moderate, short-lived amusement

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    This is the one day of the year I wish I was on jury duty.

    This is the one day of the year I wish I was on jury duty

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    To avoid confusion, I'm waiting until tomorrow to tell you I'm pregnant.

    To avoid confusion, I'm waiting until tomorrow to tell you I'm pregnant

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    Congratulations on effectively deceiving and humiliating me.

    Congratulations on effectively deceiving and humiliating me

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    I trust you not to pull any April Fool's Day pranks because I trust you'll still think it's March.

    I trust you not to pull any April Fool's Day pranks because I trust you'll still think it's March

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    Being unemployed affords me plenty of time to devise treacherous April Fool's pranks on the people who made me unemployed.

    Being unemployed affords me plenty of time to devise treacherous April Fool's pranks on the people who made me unemployed

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