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I really wish I didn't have to remind you that staging a murder is not an appropriate April Fool's Day prank

Nothing you pull on me this April Fool's Day could be worse than anything that's already happened to me this year.

I'm going to go ahead and assume that setting me up with your highly undatable friend was your attempt at an April Fool's joke

I'm comfortable with any April Fool's Day hoax outside of a multi-billion dollar Ponzi scheme

My dream for April Fool's Day is to discover your obsession with a seemingly endless series of college basketball games isn't actually real

Just a warning that on April Fool's Day my natural distrust of others will be ratcheted up to a level bordering on psychosis

Being unemployed affords me plenty of time to devise treacherous April Fool's pranks on the people who made me unemployed

Congratulations on effectively deceiving and humiliating me

This is the one day of the year I wish I was on jury duty

Sorry I mistook your announcement of a ghastly personal tragedy for an April Fool's joke

Let's use April Fool's as a cover for numerous sexual harassment violations

I intend to abuse your kind, trusting nature for the sake of my own moderate, short-lived amusement

Not to alarm you, but I was hoping you could help me procure a flame retardant jumpsuit for April Fool's

Let's make sure our harmless prank doesn't cause long-term psychological damage to scores of innocent civilians

To avoid confusion, I'm waiting until tomorrow to tell you I'm pregnant

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