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    This is the one day of the year I wish I was on jury duty.

    This is the one day of the year I wish I was on jury duty

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    Sorry I mistook your announcement of a ghastly personal tragedy for an April Fool's joke.

    Sorry I mistook your announcement of a ghastly personal tragedy for an April Fool's joke

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    Let's use April Fool's as a cover for numerous sexual harassment violations.

    Let's use April Fool's as a cover for numerous sexual harassment violations

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    I intend to abuse your kind, trusting nature for the sake of my own moderate, short-lived amusement.

    I intend to abuse your kind, trusting nature for the sake of my own moderate, short-lived amusement

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    Not to alarm you, but I was hoping you could help me procure a flame retardant jumpsuit for April Fool's.

    Not to alarm you, but I was hoping you could help me procure a flame retardant jumpsuit for April Fool's

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    Let's make sure our harmless prank doesn't cause long-term psychological damage to scores of innocent civilians.

    Let's make sure our harmless prank doesn't cause long-term psychological damage to scores of innocent civilians

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    To avoid confusion, I'm waiting until tomorrow to tell you I'm pregnant.

    To avoid confusion, I'm waiting until tomorrow to tell you I'm pregnant

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