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You're going to be a great MILF

I promise to come see the baby before it goes to college

Waking up when you got a baby, you feel like you drank a bottle of whiskey the night before, except the shit's in someone else's pants.

Let me know how I can support you and your rapidly growing breasts

I still don't completely understand how babies are made

Congratulations on not being sterile

Your baby is beautiful enough to model for a great deal of money

I hope having an unborn fetus in my womb doesn't turn you off

I'd like to purchase your new child

Let's spoil the shit out of our child

Congratulations on your baby not swallowing a toy truck

Congratulations on your new baby if it was intentional

I'd be happy to show you how to dress like a fat person

Congratulations on not having a miscarriage

I handle my infant with the same tenderness I'd give three magazines

I liked it better when it sucked your boobs

Congratulations on trading cramps and bleeding for morning sickness and unimaginable weight gain

You're going to be a great father assuming you're the father

I'm so proud of my sperm

I'm so psyched for paternity leave

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Someecards.com is possibly to probably the best site on the Web for free, funny ecards. We have greeting cards for every occasion - from important to utterly pointless. Send greetings for apology, birthday, baby, breakup, congratulations, encouragement, farewell, flirting, friendship, get well, sympathy, thanks, thinking of you, wedding, workplace, and holidays like Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. We suggest you e-mail them to friends, family, coworkers, loved ones, liked ones, and anyone else with fingers.