Congratulations on trading cramps and bleeding for morning sickness and unimaginable weight gain
Just curious if you'd like to pay me tens of millions of dollars for pictures of my new baby
I handle my infant with the same tenderness I'd give three magazines
Congratulations on having a baby and shifting a significant percentage of your workload to me
I hope having an unborn fetus in my womb doesn't turn you off
Let me know how I can support you and your rapidly growing breasts
What you need is a grueling slideshow of my baby in countless poses and outfits
