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I'm so psyched for paternity leave

I liked it better when it sucked your boobs

Congratulations on not being sterile

Think of me as the uncle who stops by when he feels like it

I hope your baby doesn't hate you later in life

I'd like to advertise on your new infant

I'd like to purchase your new child

Careful about turning your baby gay

Don't miss one second of your child's existence

Make sure no one steals your baby

Your baby is beautiful enough to model for a great deal of money

You're going to be a great father assuming you're the father

You're going to be a great MILF

Congratulations on not having a miscarriage

Congratulations on your new baby if it was intentional

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Someecards.com is the best site for free, funny ecards. We have greeting cards for every occasion - from important to utterly pointless. Send greetings for apology, birthday, baby, breakup, congratulations, encouragement, farewell, flirting, friendship, get well, sympathy, thanks, thinking of you, wedding, workplace, and holidays like Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. We suggest you e-mail them to friends, family, coworkers, loved ones, liked ones, and anyone else with fingers.