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    I hope you appreciate being a voter in a battleground state because it's probably the last time anyone will care what you think.

    I hope you appreciate being a voter in a battleground state because it's probably the last time anyone will care what you think

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    Being laid off should give you plenty of time to vote.

    Being laid off should give you plenty of time to vote

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    You're just the sort of hot young Republican with whom I'd like to have election night hate-sex.

    You're just the sort of hot young Republican with whom I'd like to have election night hate-sex

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    I think it's great you're going to squeeze in voting between a manicure and yoga.

    I think it's great you're going to squeeze in voting between a manicure and yoga

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    I miss the days of Sarah Palin being the scariest Republican candidate in history.

    I miss the days of Sarah Palin being the scariest Republican candidate in history

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    You should be proud of your right to vote for shameless politicians.

    You should be proud of your right to vote for shameless politicians

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    If you were running for office this might be the only year I'd vote for you.

    If you were running for office this might be the only year I'd vote for you

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    I'm really impressed by how informed about politics you pretend to be.

    I'm really impressed by how informed about politics you pretend to be

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    Voting is the perfect way to not feel like an asshole when someone asks if you voted.

    Voting is the perfect way to not feel like an asshole when someone asks if you voted

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    I strongly encourage you to vote even if it's for the wrong candidate.

    I strongly encourage you to vote even if it's for the wrong candidate

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    I just can't picture myself sleeping with a non-voter.

    I just can't picture myself sleeping with a non-voter

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    Don't forget to vote on Tuesday for the slightly less awful and eventually completely ineffective candidate.

    Don't forget to vote on Tuesday for the slightly less awful and eventually completely ineffective candidate

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    Mustering the energy to vote will help ensure I maintain the freedom to be as lazy as I want.

    Mustering the energy to vote will help ensure I maintain the freedom to be as lazy as I want

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    I think voting is so important that I may even vote.

    I think voting is so important that I may even vote

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    Sorry your political party didn't start rigging the election before mine.

    Sorry your political party didn't start rigging the election before mine

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