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I'd love to come celebrate Canada Day with you but I've already spent all my money on healthcare

May this be the year people stop mistaking your most talented citizens for Americans

My previous assumption that you were a little bit off has been totally cleared up now that I realize you're just Canadian

This Canada Day, please take Justin Bieber back

Canada Day is a great opportunity to celebrate one of your NHL teams almost winning the Stanley Cup

Canada Day is a great reminder to move to Canada if any of the current Republican presidential candidates win

Enjoy the first Canada Day where Americans may think twice before making fun of newly bloodthirsty Canadians

On Canada Day, best of luck in not being mistaken for an American

Happy Canada Day to my new countryman if they ever reinstate the military draft here

Please accept my mildest excitement on this Canada Day

Happy Canada Day to the people who sell me inexpensive sexual enhancement drugs online

Let's honor Canada today by letting high school kids drink legally

Even though you have free health care, I hope a firecracker doesn't blow off your thumbs this Canada Day

This Canada Day, I'd love to go out for some traditional Canadian cuisine if there was such a thing

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