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    I'd love to come celebrate Canada Day with you but I've already spent all my money on healthcare.

    I'd love to come celebrate Canada Day with you but I've already spent all my money on healthcare

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    Enjoy the first Canada Day where Americans may think twice before making fun of newly bloodthirsty Canadians.

    Enjoy the first Canada Day where Americans may think twice before making fun of newly bloodthirsty Canadians

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    Canada Day is a great reminder to move to Canada if any of the current Republican presidential candidates win.

    Canada Day is a great reminder to move to Canada if any of the current Republican presidential candidates win

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    Canada Day is a great opportunity to celebrate one of your NHL teams almost winning the Stanley Cup.

    Canada Day is a great opportunity to celebrate one of your NHL teams almost winning the Stanley Cup

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    This Canada Day, please take Justin Bieber back.

    This Canada Day, please take Justin Bieber back

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    My previous assumption that you were a little bit off has been totally cleared up now that I realize you're just Canadian.

    My previous assumption that you were a little bit off has been totally cleared up now that I realize you're just Canadian

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    May this be the year people stop mistaking your most talented citizens for Americans.

    May this be the year people stop mistaking your most talented citizens for Americans

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    This Canada Day, I'd love to go out for some traditional Canadian cuisine if there was such a thing.

    This Canada Day, I'd love to go out for some traditional Canadian cuisine if there was such a thing

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    Even though you have free health care, I hope a firecracker doesn't blow off your thumbs this Canada Day.

    Even though you have free health care, I hope a firecracker doesn't blow off your thumbs this Canada Day

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    Let's honor Canada today by letting high school kids drink legally.

    Let's honor Canada today by letting high school kids drink legally

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    Happy Canada Day to the people who sell me inexpensive sexual enhancement drugs online.

    Happy Canada Day to the people who sell me inexpensive sexual enhancement drugs online

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    Please accept my mildest excitement on this Canada Day.

    Please accept my mildest excitement on this Canada Day

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    Happy Canada Day to my new countryman if they ever reinstate the military draft here.

    Happy Canada Day to my new countryman if they ever reinstate the military draft here

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    On Canada Day, best of luck in not being mistaken for an American.

    On Canada Day, best of luck in not being mistaken for an American

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