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Happy anniversary to a couple who almost never make me physically ill
Happy anniversary from someone who knows more about the inner workings of your marriage than any third party should
I want to grow old and disgusting with you
It's remarkable how long we've tolerated each other
I've grown to accept the ridiculous choices you make
Congratulations on defying marriage statistics
Let's never give up on trying to change each other
I hope we can never afford a divorce
Marrying you was the best thing I've ever done for my vagina
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