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Let's safeguard ourselves against swine flu by only doing it doggie style
If I was your coworker, I'd sexually harass you
If there was a Zagat guide for penises, yours would rate high on both service and decor
I'm just a simple woman who wants her salad tossed
If you were a pop-up ad, I wouldn't mind if the advertisers purposefully made you difficult to close
I'm concerned your hotness may eventually make me insecure
You drink like you're single
You remind me of none of the characters from Sex and the City
Let me know your preference in pubic hair shapes
You're cantankerous, inappropriate, self-destructive, and hopefully single
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