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Feel free to do and say whatever you like while I'm PMSing because I'm going to bite your fucking head off regardless
As someone currently in a long-term relationship, allow me to walk you through the horrors of being in a long-term relationship
Don't touch my chocolate
You're getting a little too old to drunkenly wet the bed
The extra seconds it periodically takes for your Web site to load is taking years off my life
One of the most important lessons any underage girl can learn is to never enter Jack Nicholson's hot tub
Don't fuck with me
Try to read a news headline every day
Hearing you snore does the exact opposite of turning me on
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