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I wish just once you'd send me an email filled with as much passion as a Family Values governor has for his Argentinian mistress

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Now would be the perfect time to let me know if you're having an affair with a governor, senator, reality show star, talk show host, or your dad
2

Just let me know if there's anything I can do this month to further the cause of healthy breasts
3

It may take a while to adjust to a president who doesn't fill every speech with cringe-inducing gaffes, denial, and arrogance
4

We've now learned that a decimated economy, a clusterfucked war, and the worst-run Republican campaign in history is all it takes for America to elect a black guy
5

Just wanted to express my condolences to McCain supporters like you and Al-Qaeda

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