Watching a gorgeous vampire and buff werewolf battle for a girl's love is the perfect distraction from my inability to meet a semi-datable human
I hated Mel Gibson's new movie even more than Mel Gibson hates talking about hating Jews
I'll take you to Sex and the City in exchange for a handjob during a Michael Bay film
Heath Ledger's potential Oscar win is a troubling reminder that dead people are accomplishing significantly more than me
I hope that Mickey Rourke wins the Oscar and that I'm not the person who has to present it to him