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    Happy Chinese New Year to you and the Chinese government official also reading this.

    Happy Chinese New Year to you and the Chinese government official also reading this

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    May the brain-rattling fireworks of Chinese New Year help drown out the memory of Steven Tyler's National Anthem.

    May the brain-rattling fireworks of Chinese New Year help drown out the memory of Steven Tyler's National Anthem

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    Happy Chinese New Year to someone I'm pretty sure is Chinese.

    Happy Chinese New Year to someone I'm pretty sure is Chinese

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    May your Chinese New Year dinner be filled with nothing but the finest yak penis.

    May your Chinese New Year dinner be filled with nothing but the finest yak penis

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    Please be aware I will be celebrating Chinese New Year by recklessly shooting firecrackers in public locations for the next two weeks.

    Please be aware I will be celebrating Chinese New Year by recklessly shooting firecrackers in public locations for the next two weeks

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    Let's usher in the new year by scaring off a mythological, noise-sensitive, child-eating beast who lives under the sea.

    Let's usher in the new year by scaring off a mythological, noise-sensitive, child-eating beast who lives under the sea

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    Enjoy honoring the traditions and customs of a country that has missiles aimed at the U.S.

    Enjoy honoring the traditions and customs of a country that has missiles aimed at the U.S.

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    Let's get wild this Chinese New Year by not asking the restaurant to leave out the MSG.

    Let's get wild this Chinese New Year by not asking the restaurant to leave out the MSG

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    Just wanted to wish you a Happy Chinese New Year using the easy-to-comprehend Western alphabet.

    Just wanted to wish you a Happy Chinese New Year using the easy-to-comprehend Western alphabet

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    Let's celebrate Chinese New Year by rigidly conforming to the strictly enforced suggestions for celebrating.

    Let's celebrate Chinese New Year by rigidly conforming to the strictly enforced suggestions for celebrating

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    I'm wearing red on Chinese New Year to ward off evil spirits and make random white guys slightly hornier than usual.

    I'm wearing red on Chinese New Year to ward off evil spirits and make random white guys slightly hornier than usual

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