


I respect you enough to not base your holiday gift on my taste

There's no limit to the amount of company time I'd waste shopping for your holiday gift

My holiday gift to you is not obliterating your life savings in a $50 billion Ponzi scheme

Lets relish what will likely be our last chance to get obliterated on the company's dime

Allow me to apologize in advance for what I'm going to say to you at the office holiday party

Thanks for getting me a gift I don't actually have to return