My holiday gift to you is not obliterating your life savings in a $50 billion Ponzi scheme
Lets relish what will likely be our last chance to get obliterated on the company's dime
Allow me to apologize in advance for what I'm going to say to you at the office holiday party
Thanks for getting me a gift I don't actually have to return
I hope your Christmas display doesn't incinerate your home and loved ones
I want a Secret Santa gift that makes me feel sexually violated
Your gift to me was so wonderful that I think you've been cheating
I'd be totally into your invitation to go Christmas caroling if it wasn't for my aversion to singing in public, spreading cheer, and freezing my tits off
I'm still confused by the story of Christmas
I hope your Christmas display doesn't incinerate your home and loved ones
I want a Secret Santa gift that makes me feel sexually violated
You're a hard person to half-assedly shop for