• refine by:
sort-by: Most Popular | Newest
  •  

    Let's celebrate Christ's birthday this year by ignoring the fact that he would have celebrated Hanukkah.

    Let's celebrate Christ's birthday this year by ignoring the fact that he would have celebrated Hanukkah.

  •  

    Good luck finding something nice to wear to Christmas at Grandma's from your closet of bar hopping slut-gear.

    Good luck finding something nice to wear to Christmas at Grandma's from your closet of bar hopping slut-gear.

  •  

    Happy holidays from someone using environmental friendliness as an excuse for being too cheap and lazy to send a real card.

    Happy holidays from someone using environmental friendliness as an excuse for being too cheap and lazy to send a real card

  •  

    All I want for Christmas this year is the 2008 version of Obama.

    All I want for Christmas this year is the 2008 version of Obama

  •  

    I can't wait to have a flamboyantly dressed stranger grope my children.

    I can't wait to have a flamboyantly dressed stranger grope my children

  •  

    Here's hoping Santa is able to deliver all his toys before he's shot by an NRA member.

    Here's hoping Santa is able to deliver all his toys before he's shot by an NRA member.

  •  

    You better hope to god that Santa doesn't see your browser history.

    You better hope to god that Santa doesn't see your browser history.

  •  

    I've put a lot of thought into asking Siri what to get you for Christmas.

    I've put a lot of thought into asking Siri what to get you for Christmas

  •  

    I'm flattered you actually think I can afford the things on your holiday wish list.

    I'm flattered you actually think I can afford the things on your holiday wish list.

  •  

    May this be the year your significant other gives you a better gift than your Secret Santa does.

    May this be the year your significant other gives you a better gift than your Secret Santa does

  •  

    You look like you lost weight over the holidays when you stand next to Santa.

    You look like you lost weight over the holidays when you stand next to Santa.

  •  

    Wishing you a happy whatever doesn't offend you.

    Wishing you a happy whatever doesn't offend you

  •  

    There's no reason for anyone to be alone during the holidays unless everyone else leaves town.

    There's no reason for anyone to be alone during the holidays unless everyone else leaves town.

  •  

    I wish Santa was a one percenter.

    I wish Santa was a one percenter

  •  

    Thanks for going to the office holiday party in a Christmas sweater that's more embarrassing than my behavior.

    Thanks for going to the office holiday party in a Christmas sweater that's more embarrassing than my behavior.

  •  

    Happy holidays to someone who works approximately as many days a year as Santa.

    Happy holidays to someone who works approximately as many days a year as Santa

  •  

    I found the perfect gift for someone with money to get you.

    I found the perfect gift for someone with money to get you

  •  

    I want you to have something I don't need anymore.

    I want you to have something I don't need anymore

  •  

    Having your privacy violated by Instagram should fully prepare you for going home for the holidays.

    Having your privacy violated by Instagram should fully prepare you for going home for the holidays.

  •  

    Let's give thanks our neighborhood is too dangerous for Christmas caroling.

    Let's give thanks our neighborhood is too dangerous for Christmas caroling.

DON'T MISS THIS