


Pretending to appreciate heartfelt mariachi songs may be the key to getting laid this Cinco de Mayo

This Cinco de Mayo, let's party like Mexican rock stars if they existed

I'm celebrating Cinco de Mayo by puking tequila and gorditas on the side of a Taco Bell

Let's gather for a shockingly disrespectful homage to Mexican culture

Tonight I insist on eating authentic Mexican food while wearing a novelty sombrero

Let's avoid direct professional confrontations by putting severance checks in the office pinata

I'll hook up with you this Cinco de Mayo if you can refrain from calling me a hot tamale

I'm not above using obscure Mexican battles to justify my drinking
I'm not above using obscure Mexican battles to justify my drinking
It may be best to set aside the rest of May to apologize for what you're going to do this Cinco de Mayo
This Cinco de Mayo, let's party like Mexican rock stars if they existed
Remember that Cinco de Mayo is an important celebration for Mexicans everywhere except almost all of Mexico
I'm celebrating Cinco de Mayo by puking tequila and gorditas on the side of a Taco Bell