Aug. 23rd, 2011
Good luck on the transition from doing nothing at home to doing nothing at school.
Dec. 9th, 2011
I'm confident you'll ace your finals since you have no social or sex life to distract you.
Dec. 8th, 2011
A great way to relieve the stress of final exams is by cheating.
Dec. 9th, 2011
I hope your mind-boggling six-figure tuition doesn't add more pressure to your performance on final exams.
Dec. 8th, 2011
Sorry no matter how well you do on college finals you'll never make as much money as high school graduate Albert Pujols.
May. 3rd, 2012
Sometimes my poor life decisions look like fantastic drinking opportunities.
Apr. 26th, 2009
It's a good thing you learned to play the guitar so you have something to do while not getting laid.
Mar. 1st, 2010
May your behavior be the only natural disaster this spring break.
Oct. 19th, 2008
Sorry you can't mention the Ivy League school you attend or attended without inadvertently sounding like a douchebag.
Aug. 17th, 2008
Sorry you chose academic reputation over legendary partying.
Sep. 17th, 2008
The corporate world will care less about your GPA than your mastery of social drunkenness.
Aug. 17th, 2008
If you listen to all my stories about the summer, you'll have a better shot of sleeping with me this fall.
Dec. 7th, 2011
The most important thing to learn in college is how to eventually dodge your student loan officer.
Feb. 26th, 2009
I hope your spring break isn't further shamed by the fact that our president has a better beach body than you.
Oct. 25th, 2010
Detour to College.
Aug. 17th, 2008
I promise not to laugh anymore at your ridiculous major.
May. 2nd, 2012
Good luck studying information you'll never use in the job you won't have when you graduate.
Feb. 26th, 2009
With the job market in shambles, I see no reason to steer clear of career-jeopardizing photos this spring break.
Aug. 23rd, 2011
I can't wait to catch up with you on all the things we've been IM'ing, texting, and Facebooking about all summer.
Aug. 17th, 2008
We'll be perfect roommates as long as you never touch anything of mine and leave the second my friends come over.
![[UPDATED] 31 unintentionally offensive test answers from young children.](http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/images/feed_assets/4e1dc1c5aa37f_m4e1de248b5159.jpg)
![[UPDATED] 20 yearbook quotes and photos that don't bode well for our future.](http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/images/feed_assets/4e15499c2e0cd_m4e1b1a0a2ade0.jpg)
