Sometimes my poor life decisions look like fantastic drinking opportunities.
Good luck studying information you'll never use in the job you won't have when you graduate.
Take a break from studying for finals to go protest your upcoming state of unemployment.
I'm confident you'll ace your finals since you have no social or sex life to distract you.
A great way to relieve the stress of final exams is by cheating.
Good luck on final exams to someone whose major is as real as Santa Claus.
The most important thing to learn in college is how to eventually dodge your student loan officer.
Sorry it's now horribly awkward to display your Penn State degree.
I hope college teaches you everything except how useless college is.
Good luck on the transition from doing nothing at home to doing nothing at school.
It's a good thing you learned to play the guitar so you have something to do while not getting laid.
May your behavior be the only natural disaster this spring break.
I can't wait to act like sluts in an environment where no one knows what sluts we are.
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