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    College opened my eyes to diversity before I settled into a familiar clique.

    College opened my eyes to diversity before I settled into a familiar clique

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    It would be a tragic waste of talent if you didn't enter every conceivable spring break wet t-shirt contest.

    It would be a tragic waste of talent if you didn't enter every conceivable spring break wet t-shirt contest

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    Sorry you chose such an expensive school during the worst economy in decades.

    Sorry you chose such an expensive school during the worst economy in decades

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    Maybe this is the year we'll actually get to use the signal we devised to indicate one of us is having sex in our dorm room.

    Maybe this is the year we'll actually get to use the signal we devised to indicate one of us is having sex in our dorm room

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    Sorry it's now horribly awkward to display your Penn State degree.

    Sorry it's now horribly awkward to display your Penn State degree

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    Let's take a break from our job searches to spend our remaining savings on drinks for half-naked college girls.

    Let's take a break from our job searches to spend our remaining savings on drinks for half-naked college girls

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    Take a break from studying for finals to go protest your upcoming state of unemployment.

    Take a break from studying for finals to go protest your upcoming state of unemployment.

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    We're concerned about your lack of bullshit classes.

    We're concerned about your lack of bullshit classes

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    Sorry you're having roommate problems.

    Sorry you're having roommate problems

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    I'd show more school spirit if this wasn't my safety school.

    I'd show more school spirit if this wasn't my safety school

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    I'd love to do all those things from my favorite college movies but it turns out they're felonies.

    I'd love to do all those things from my favorite college movies but it turns out they're felonies

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    I hope Twitter's 140-character limit doesn't hinder you from describing every detail of your ecstasy-fueled spring break beach orgies.

    I hope Twitter's 140-character limit doesn't hinder you from describing every detail of your ecstasy-fueled spring break beach orgies

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    I hope college teaches you everything except how useless college is.

    I hope college teaches you everything except how useless college is

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    Sorry you're stuck with or deeply concerned about being apart from your significant other this spring break.

    Sorry you're stuck with or deeply concerned about being apart from your significant other this spring break

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    Good luck on final exams to someone whose major is as real as Santa Claus.

    Good luck on final exams to someone whose major is as real as Santa Claus

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    Sorry more of your teachers want to sleep with you than you realize.

    Sorry more of your teachers want to sleep with you than you realize

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    I can't wait to act like sluts in an environment where no one knows what sluts we are.

    I can't wait to act like sluts in an environment where no one knows what sluts we are

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