I can't wait to act like sluts in an environment where no one knows what sluts we are
College opened my eyes to diversity before I settled into a familiar clique
I'd love to do all those things from my favorite college movies but it turns out they're felonies
The corporate world will care less about your GPA than your mastery of social drunkenness
Sorry you chose such an expensive school during the worst economy in decades
Sorry more of your teachers want to sleep with you than you realize
Sorry you chose academic reputation over legendary partying
College opened my eyes to diversity before I settled into a familiar clique
Sorry you can't mention the Ivy League school you attend or attended without inadvertently sounding like a douchebag
I hope your spring break isn't further shamed by the fact that our president has a better beach body than you
With the job market in shambles, I see no reason to steer clear of career-jeopardizing photos this spring break