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  • Oct. 10th, 2011

    Let's celebrate the discovery of a nation that totally kicks ass for one percent of its citizens.

    Let's celebrate the discovery of a nation that totally kicks ass for one percent of its citizens.

  • Oct. 10th, 2011

    This Columbus Day, let's commemorate a voyage that was even more poorly planned than a Netflix announcement.

    This Columbus Day, let's commemorate a voyage that was even more poorly planned than a Netflix announcement.

  • Oct. 10th, 2011

    Here's to screwing up America so badly that the Native Americans wouldn't even want it back.

    Here's to screwing up America so badly that the Native Americans wouldn't even want it back.

  • Oct. 12th, 2009

    I am suspicious of a holiday solely devoted to a man's inability to ask for directions.

    I am suspicious of a holiday solely devoted to a man's inability to ask for directions.

  • Oct. 5th, 2010

    Let's celebrate an Italian man for discovering a new continent rather than a new ab exercise.

    Let's celebrate an Italian man for discovering a new continent rather than a new ab exercise.

  • Oct. 6th, 2009

    Let's celebrate Columbus day by walking into someone's house and telling them we live there now.

    Let's celebrate Columbus day by walking into someone's house and telling them we live there now.

  • Oct. 5th, 2009

    Let's hope by next Columbus Day all Americans have better health care options than the crew of a 1492 second-hand cargo ship.

    Let's hope by next Columbus Day all Americans have better health care options than the crew of a 1492 second-hand cargo ship.

  • Oct. 12th, 2008

    This Columbus Day, let's apologize for our historical mistreatment of American Indians by losing money at a tribal casino.

    This Columbus Day, let's apologize for our historical mistreatment of American Indians by losing money at a tribal casino.

  • Oct. 7th, 2008

    I wonder if Columbus would have turned around if he knew how much we'd fuck up his discovery.

    I wonder if Columbus would have turned around if he knew how much we'd fuck up his discovery.

  • Oct. 7th, 2008

    Let's commemorate Columbus Day by behaving like conquest-hungry sailors after a 32-week voyage.

    Let's commemorate Columbus Day by behaving like conquest-hungry sailors after a 32-week voyage.

  • Oct. 7th, 2008

    Thank god America still rewards people who miss their objectives by thousands of miles.

    Thank god America still rewards people who miss their objectives by thousands of miles.

  • Oct. 7th, 2008

    If I discovered America, I'd expect more than just having some of its shittiest cities named after me.

    If I discovered America, I'd expect more than just having some of its shittiest cities named after me.

  • Oct. 7th, 2008

    Let's honor a man who was only moderately aggressive by Italian standards.

    Let's honor a man who was only moderately aggressive by Italian standards.

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