Confession Ecards /  Displaying 1- 20 of 314 Card ViewIcon View

  • May. 18th, 2012

    I will always love the false image I had of you.

    I will always love the false image I had of you.

  • May. 14th, 2012

    The CIA is less deceptive than your Facebook profile picture.

    The CIA is less deceptive than your Facebook profile picture.

  • May. 9th, 2012

    My idea of a happy ending is one where John Travolta doesn't show me his penis.

    My idea of a happy ending is one where John Travolta doesn't show me his penis.

  • May. 8th, 2012

    No matter how much you rave about Fifty Shades of Grey, I'll never be horny enough to read a book.

    No matter how much you rave about Fifty Shades of Grey, I'll never be horny enough to read a book.

  • May. 8th, 2012

    This is my favorite day of the week to break my feeble vow to never drink again.

    This is my favorite day of the week to break my feeble vow to never drink again.

  • May. 2nd, 2012

    I lean towards autism on the social awkwardness spectrum.

    I lean towards autism on the social awkwardness spectrum.

  • Apr. 30th, 2012

    I order meals based on what'll look best on Instagram.

    I order meals based on what'll look best on Instagram.

  • Apr. 24th, 2012

    I'm the best I've ever had.

    I'm the best I've ever had.

  • Apr. 23rd, 2012

    I'd donate to a Kickstarter dedicated to stopping people from asking me to donate to their Kickstarter.

    I'd donate to a Kickstarter dedicated to stopping people from asking me to donate to their Kickstarter.

  • Apr. 21st, 2012

    I enjoy complaining almost as much as not doing anything about my complaints.

    I enjoy complaining almost as much as not doing anything about my complaints.

  • Apr. 17th, 2012

    We annoyed each other so much, that we had to make a third person.

    We annoyed each other so much, that we had to make a third person.

  • Apr. 10th, 2012

    Your God-fearing Facebook updates do not cause me to forget the godless whore you were in high school.

    Your God-fearing Facebook updates do not cause me to forget the godless whore you were in high school.

  • Apr. 12th, 2012

    I'm the Axl Rose of not showing up to Facebook events.

    I'm the Axl Rose of not showing up to Facebook events.

  • Apr. 1st, 2012

    Let's go someplace where we can each be alone.

    Let's go someplace where we can each be alone.

  • Apr. 1st, 2012

    I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.

    I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.

  • Mar. 30th, 2012

    I have a better chance of winning the Mega Millions than I do of staying up late enough to see if I won the Mega Millions.

    I have a better chance of winning the Mega Millions than I do of staying up late enough to see if I won the Mega Millions.

  • Mar. 30th, 2012

    I wish I had a job I could dream about quitting if I won the Mega Millions.

    I wish I had a job I could dream about quitting if I won the Mega Millions.

  • Mar. 29th, 2012

    The first thing I'd do with $500 million is not give any to the people who won't shut up about how much it gets taxed.

    The first thing I'd do with $500 million is not give any to the people who won't shut up about how much it gets taxed.

  • Mar. 29th, 2012

    I'd pay $500 million dollars to not hear what you'd do if you won $500 million dollars.

    I'd pay $500 million dollars to not hear what you'd do if you won $500 million dollars.

  • Mar. 26th, 2012

    I related to Tiger Woods better when he was a public disgrace who didn't beat people at golf.

    I related to Tiger Woods better when he was a public disgrace who didn't beat people at golf.

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