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Confession / Displaying 1- 20 of 138

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I'm like Don Draper on Mad Men minus the looks, charm, style, talent, and sex life

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I'm too horny to be in public

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It's crucial that the produce I buy and eventually discard comes from the local farmer's market

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Your fashionable hat intimidates me

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I'm masturbating on the inside

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I only smoke on the six nights a week that I drink

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I'm not opposed to wiping my ass with my jizz rag

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If I were an animal, I'd eat vegetarians

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I hear what you're saying but I'm thinking about myself

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Someecards.com is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me

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I want to marry someone Jewish for reasons I can no longer recall

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I'm concerned my workouts have become tailored more to not dying than to getting laid

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Spending a day on Facebook has once again fooled me into believing I have an actual social life

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I'm having trouble finding a woman I'm not attracted to

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My high school yearbook quote contained lyrics from a classic rock band

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I thought I was too old for Facebook, but then remembered I like looking at pictures of hot 21-year-olds

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My decreasing libido is dovetailing nicely with my increasingly disgusting appearance

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I want to be loved for who I am on stage

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I may need to start wearing diapers

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I'm self-conscious about my new outfit

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