Confession Ecards /  Displaying 1- 20 of 285 Card ViewList ViewIcon View

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    I'm not the kind of girl you can take home to your mother unless your mother is a drunk whore too.

    I'm not the kind of girl you can take home to your mother unless your mother is a drunk whore too.

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    The last time I saw you, I was hoping it was the last time I saw you.

    The last time I saw you, I was hoping it was the last time I saw you.

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    If they ever made a movie about my life it would go straight to DVD.

    If they ever made a movie about my life it would go straight to DVD.

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    I wish I didn't have to be sober to celebrate my sobriety.

    I wish I didn't have to be sober to celebrate my sobriety

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    I can't return to the gym until I lose some weight.

    I can't return to the gym until I lose some weight.

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    I'm afraid to learn how to not be neurotic.

    I'm afraid to learn how to not be neurotic.

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    I propose a toast to the booze for making you all seem tolerable.

    I propose a toast to the booze for making you all seem tolerable.

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    I may have over-trusted that fart.

    I may have over-trusted that fart.

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    I take it as a personal challenge to reserve my true thoughts about your ugly baby's picture.

    I take it as a personal challenge to reserve my true thoughts about your ugly baby's picture.

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    I'll be incessantly refreshing my browser until your relationship status changes.

    I'll be incessantly refreshing my browser until your relationship status changes.

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    You are everything I have never wanted.

    You are everything I have never wanted.

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    I wish I wasn't so good at being alone.

    I wish I wasn't so good at being alone.

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    I'd be sadder losing my iPhone than losing the friends whose numbers are in it.

    I'd be sadder losing my iPhone than losing the friends whose numbers are in it

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    I don't like people who play games in relationships better than I do.

    I don't like people who play games in relationships better than I do.

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    Words cannot describe how I feel about you because I don't feel anything about you.

    Words cannot describe how I feel about you because I don't feel anything about you.

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    I want to defriend you, but your pictures and status updates help me feel better about myself.

    I want to defriend you, but your pictures and status updates help me feel better about myself.

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    If my job sucked any harder than it does now, I'd orgasm.

    If my job sucked any harder than it does now, I'd orgasm.

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    I miss you more than Jonah Hill misses cupcakes.

    I miss you more than Jonah Hill misses cupcakes.

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    I'd quit smoking if I didn't really enjoy saying no to people who ask for cigarettes.

    I'd quit smoking if I didn't really enjoy saying no to people who ask for cigarettes

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    I'd do anything to lose 10lbs, except eat healthy and work out.

    I'd do anything to lose 10lbs, except eat healthy and work out.

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