Congratulations on sleeping with the same person for the rest of eternity
Congratulations on the anniversary of your horrific alcoholic bottom
Congratulations on your new job that you probably won't like any better
Congratulations on finding an absurdly overpriced place to live
Congratulations on having the same great idea as someone who successfully executed it
Congratulations on narrowly averting death while ogling a female pedestrian
Congratulations on marrying the next person you dated after me
Congratulations on not making enough money to be considered for layoffs
Congratulations on choosing a profile picture that doesn't qualify as softcore porn
Congratulations on being justified in your paranoia about being laid off
Congratulations on running a marathon without having to stop for a heart attack
Congratulations on not having bedbugs despite the high turnover rate of people entering your bed
Glad to hear your weight gain was due to pregnancy and not depression
Congratulations on being the last person in the galaxy without a cell phone
![[UPDATED] 31 unintentionally offensive test answers from young children.](http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/images/feed_assets/4e1dc1c5aa37f_m4e1de248b5159.jpg)