Dogs may be idiots and cats are often jerks, but the most baffling part of why we love them so much is how gosh-darn revolting and unbelievably unhygienic they can be. If it wasn't for all their unconditional love and affection—which, you must admit, is pretty nice—we'd be hard-pressed to explain why we let them into our homes (and often our beds). Fortunately, they're pretty cute.

This tongue has licked unspeakable filth. Soon it shall lick you as well.

1. oreosprinkles is sorry for this, but now you’ll always think about Waffles the next time you’re having waffles.

Waffles got into something (my husband and I still aren’t quite sure what... just all of a sudden, he had diarrhea), and so we had been monitoring him and letting him rest. I decide to go check up on him, and he’s surrounded by a pool of mucus and shit…and he’s eating it! Apparently, he had shit himself, then ate his shit, then vomited up the shit, then proceeded to eat up the shit-vomit. A couple hours later, he vomited again, and then tried to eat more of his shit-vomit.

2. Nothing like some good ol’ backyard chicken, right, je_taime?