"What, do you expect me to sit on that floor? It's gross!"
Combine dogs' love of sniffing buttholes and guarding you with cats' love of finding warm places and not giving two sh*ts about what you're doing, and you've got a recipe for total lack of privacy in the privy. Apparently, it's a big problem (or bonus, depending on your feelings about personal space) for Redditors, because there is an entire subreddit for cats doing this, and there should be one for dogs. Get on it, you bathroom-photo-posting karmawhores! We want to snuggle up to your bathroom photos as much as your pets do.
"Don't worry, master. I shall protect you in your most vulnerable state."
"Sorry, I was too big for your underwear."