"What, do you expect me to sit on that floor? It's gross!"
Combine dogs' love of sniffing buttholes and guarding you with cats' love of finding warm places and not giving two sh*ts about what you're doing, and you've got a recipe for total lack of privacy in the privy. Apparently, it's a big problem (or bonus, depending on your feelings about personal space) for Redditors, because there is an entire subreddit for cats doing this, and there should be one for dogs. Get on it, you bathroom-photo-posting karmawhores! We want to snuggle up to your bathroom photos as much as your pets do.
"Don't worry, master. I shall protect you in your most vulnerable state."
"Sorry, I was too big for your underwear."
According to his master, the dog promptly fell asleep.
"Seriously, concrete floors? BRRR! I'm staying in your pants all day."
"Thank you for finally letting me sniff your buttsmells. I feel like I know you better."
"So, what did you say you normally keep in here?"
"I don't care if you're finished. It's warm in here."
"We can accomplish anything with teamwork!"