"Aren't you a big boy, you're almost at the 40 yard line!"
College was a great time. You got drunk, you went to parties, you went to games, you got laid and accidentally got a girl/yourself pregnant. After college, nothing really changed, except one day your partner decided it would be romantic if you didn't "take care" of that problem the old college plan-B way. Now instead of vomiting all the time and waking up with queasy bowels, you're exhausted all the time and waking up three times a night. Your baby, however, is as incoherent and bodily incontinent as the saddest/greatest frat guy, so why shouldn't he live it up like you used to? (Baby food funnel sold separately.)