Kid asked what he wants to be when he grows up gives the most deliciously tyrannical answer possible.
Everyone else has a big smile that's trying to please the teacher. He doesn't need to please
anyone except himself and his subjects—your tastebuds. (via redditor prsquadg)
See, when I was a kid, every child in America owned a backup supply of 10-20 Burger King paper crowns. I thought at the time it was because paper crowns are a cheap way to make kids like your store, but I see now that it was a peacekeeping measure. With every child able to pretend to be a little Burger King, you reduced the risk that a revolutionary pretender to the throne would rise up and unite all the franchises in the land.
A usurper like this chubby little boy, who, to be fair, looks as if he could be the once and future Burger King, foretold by the ancients, who will let all the common people Have It Their Way (because he's chubby and he's got that smile—that "I've hidden snacks in my room, so don't even try to ground me" smile).
He promises to be that now, but soon you'll be kissing the onion ring of a burger despot.
Oh well, at least he won't have to worry about getting too fat for his majestic Burger Steed, since he can always rely on his classmate who inexplicably already knows a.) what an Animal Physical Therapist is and b.) that she already wants to be one. At least Burger King is shooting for the top. Someone get that little girl a Sheryl Sandberg book and tell her that she should aim to be a full animal doctor (there might be another name for that), or a human doctor, or a Wendy.
(by Johnny McNulty)