Apr. 16th, 2009
I plan to celebrate Earth Day by only smoking pot that was grown outdoors.
Apr. 17th, 2008
I conceal a lack of worldliness by pretending to care about my carbon footprint.
Apr. 16th, 2007
This Earth Day, gaze lovingly at an endangered species.
Apr. 21st, 2009
Happy Earth Day to someone who I'm fairly sure thinks global warming is a myth.
Apr. 16th, 2007
This Earth Day, sell all your winter gear.
Apr. 16th, 2007
This Earth Day, take a break from being a selfish, gas-guzzling prick.
Apr. 16th, 2009
I wonder if the next planet we destroy will also get its own holiday.
Apr. 15th, 2007
This Earth Day, help construct a giant ark that you will soon call home.
Apr. 19th, 2011
I'm recycling cans this Earth Day for the extra nickels to help pay for gas.
Jan. 12th, 2008
Carpe diem before the glaciers drown us.
Apr. 12th, 2008
Sometimes I wish I could make love to the environment.
Apr. 17th, 2008
I oppose preserving civilization because I have a better chance of getting laid in a post-apocalyptic world.
Apr. 12th, 2008
This is the day to appreciate all of god's creatures except annoying humans who love animals too much.
Apr. 16th, 2009
This Earth Day, let's reflect on those carefree economic times when we were recycling cardboard boxes rather than contemplating living in them.
Apr. 12th, 2008
I'm helping improve the environment by shitting outdoors.
Apr. 19th, 2009
Let's do our part for Earth Day by continuing to only impact the outside world via email, Facebook, and Twitter.
Apr. 12th, 2008
Let's recycle cliches about taking action on global warming.
Apr. 18th, 2011
Let's hope celebrating Earth Day will convince Earth to stop trying to kill us for one day.
Apr. 12th, 2008
I'm hoping our observance of Earth Day will make polar bears hate us less.
Apr. 20th, 2011
May your Earth Day be better than Earth's.