


I wish the resurrection of our lord and savior was deemed important enough for a day off work

Easter may be the wrong time to tell my parents you're a Jew

Let's resume everything we gave up for Lent without any newfound spiritual insights

Please join us for Easter dinner unless you've already committed to Satan

I'd love to decorate Easter eggs with you or a slightly better artist

Adorable candy will help distract us from the astounding horror of a man being nailed to a cross

Sorry the fulfillment of the Lord's promise means I'm saved and you're not

I hope the abundant Easter symbols of fertility and rebirth will remind us to fuck like bunnies

There are few former carpenters I admire more than Jesus Christ and Harrison Ford

Let's just relax tonight and watch The Passion of the Christ

Sorry I said TGIF on the anniversary of your god's son's violent execution