Sorry I said TGIF on the anniversary of your god's son's violent execution
Let's just relax tonight and watch The Passion of the Christ
There are few former carpenters I admire more than Jesus Christ and Harrison Ford
I hope the abundant Easter symbols of fertility and rebirth will remind us to fuck like bunnies
Sorry the fulfillment of the Lord's promise means I'm saved and you're not
Adorable candy will help distract us from the astounding horror of a man being nailed to a cross
I'd love to decorate Easter eggs with you or a slightly better artist
Please join us for Easter dinner unless you've already committed to Satan
Let's resume everything we gave up for Lent without any newfound spiritual insights
Easter may be the wrong time to tell my parents you're a Jew
I wish the resurrection of our lord and savior was deemed important enough for a day off work
I wish the resurrection of our lord and savior was deemed important enough for a day off work
May this finally be the year your Messiah returns to earth
It would take a lot more than 30 pieces of silver for me to betray you to murderous authorities unless we were in a major recession
Let's just relax tonight and watch The Passion of the Christ
There are few former carpenters I admire more than Jesus Christ and Harrison Ford