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    Adorable candy will help distract us from the astounding horror of a man being nailed to a cross.

    Adorable candy will help distract us from the astounding horror of a man being nailed to a cross

  •  

    The Easter Bunny still scares the living shit out of me.

    The Easter Bunny still scares the living shit out of me

  •  

    I'd love to decorate Easter eggs with you or a slightly better artist.

    I'd love to decorate Easter eggs with you or a slightly better artist

  •  

    Happy Easter from one lapsed Catholic to another.

    Happy Easter from one lapsed Catholic to another

  •  

    Please join us for Easter dinner unless you've already committed to Satan.

    Please join us for Easter dinner unless you've already committed to Satan

  •  

    Let's resume everything we gave up for Lent without any newfound spiritual insights.

    Let's resume everything we gave up for Lent without any newfound spiritual insights

  •  

    Easter may be the wrong time to tell my parents you're a Jew.

    Easter may be the wrong time to tell my parents you're a Jew

  •  

    Drag a pagan to church this Easter.

    Drag a pagan to church this Easter

  •  

    After Jesus, you're my second-favorite Jew.

    After Jesus, you're my second-favorite Jew

  •  

    I wish the resurrection of our lord and savior was deemed important enough for a day off work.

    I wish the resurrection of our lord and savior was deemed important enough for a day off work

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