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    I'd be delighted if you'd join us in a "naughty trio" (*originally sent circa 1890*)

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    Kindly stop showing your ankles when you step off the curb as it is distracting to my husband (*originally sent circa 1921*)

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    You're pretty good at oral sex for a Puritan (*originally sent circa 1650*)

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    I wonder which one of us will be able to vote first (*originally sent circa 1905*)

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    Sorry our testicles briefly made contact during the sex party (*originally sent circa 1974*)

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    It's silly to worry about the Mormon Church ever actually having a national impact on the issue of marriage (*originally sent circa 1852*)

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    Thank god you were able to have children before becoming a 20-year-old hag (*originally sent circa 1860*)

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    Thanks for not mentioning to mom that I shot off your fingers (*originally sent circa 1865*)

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    Sorry your cold turned out to be bubonic plague (*originally sent circa 1350 A.D.*)

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    A real miracle would be if you went five minutes without mentioning your miracles (*originally sent circa 33 A.D.*)

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    One day we'll look back on these 210 years of soul-crushing slavery and laugh (*originally sent circa 1200 BCE*)

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    I wish you'd make more of an effort to get together and start life (*originally sent circa 3 billion years ago*)

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