• Confession Confession

    I'd be more attracted to Paul Ryan's body if he didn't tell me what to do with mine.

    I'd be more attracted to Paul Ryan's body if he didn't tell me what to do with mine.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Best of luck to Sarah Palin tonight on debating where to get take-out food.

    Best of luck to Sarah Palin tonight on debating where to get take-out food.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I bet when Paul Ryan has sex with his wife he fantasizes about himself working out.

    I bet when Paul Ryan has sex with his wife he fantasizes about himself working out.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Best of luck to undecided voters on determining which candidate's lies they prefer.

    Best of luck to undecided voters on determining which candidate's lies they prefer.

  • Weekend Weekend

    Hope you can relax and mentally check out this weekend as much as Obama did during the debate.

    Hope you can relax and mentally check out this weekend as much as Obama did during the debate.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    Let's congratulate Mitt Romney on the longest amount of time he's ever spent pretending to listen to a black person.

    Let's congratulate Mitt Romney on the longest amount of time he's ever spent pretending to listen to a black person.

  • Confession Confession

    I'm the Jim Lehrer of futilely watching political arguments unfold on Facebook.

    I'm the Jim Lehrer of futilely watching political arguments unfold on Facebook.

  • Workplace Workplace

    It's comforting to know the President of the United States can put as little energy and preparation into a job interview as I do.

    It's comforting to know the President of the United States can put as little energy and preparation into a job interview as I do.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I'm curious to see where each presidential candidate stands on the issue of boring me to tears during a presidential debate.

    I'm curious to see where each presidential candidate stands on the issue of boring me to tears during a presidential debate.

  • Confession Confession

    I enjoy leaves changing color in fall as much as Mitt Romney enjoys changing color when speaking to Latinos.

    I enjoy leaves changing color in fall as much as Mitt Romney enjoys changing color when speaking to Latinos.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I wish there was a time limit on people writing Facebook posts during the debate.

    I wish there was a time limit on people writing Facebook posts during the debate.

  • TV TV

    I look forward to debating what we should watch instead of the debate.

    I look forward to debating what we should watch instead of the debate.

  • Somewhat Topical Somewhat Topical

    I bet my candidate will be better at not really answering debate questions than your candidate.

    I bet my candidate will be better at not really answering debate questions than your candidate.

  • Birthday Birthday

    I hope the avalanche of Facebook birthday wishes is a welcome respite from the avalanche of Facebook political posts.

    I hope the avalanche of Facebook birthday wishes is a welcome respite from the avalanche of Facebook political posts.

  • Yom Kippur Yom Kippur

    My presidential candidate is much better than your presidential candidate at pandering to Jews on Yom Kippur.

    My presidential candidate is much better than your presidential candidate at pandering to Jews on Yom Kippur.

  • Bedsider Bedsider

    I'm doing my part for America by only sleeping with registered voters who practice safe sex.

    I'm doing my part for America by only sleeping with registered voters who practice safe sex.

  • Confession Confession

    I wish every decision was as easy as choosing which presidential candidate to vote for in this election.

    I wish every decision was as easy as choosing which presidential candidate to vote for in this election.

  • Birthday Birthday

    I hope you get the president you want for your birthday.

    I hope you get the president you want for your birthday.

  • Thanks Thanks

    Thanks for never secretly videotaping me when I'm insulting a large group of people I barely know.

    Thanks for never secretly videotaping me when I'm insulting a large group of people I barely know.

  • Flirting Flirting

    I want to do to your body what Mitt Romney wants to do to poor people.

    I want to do to your body what Mitt Romney wants to do to poor people.

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