I'd like to offer moral support but I have questionable morals
When work feels overwhelming, remember that you're going to die
Best of luck finishing a marathon that doesn't involve episodes of Law & Order
I hope your new source of income won't be the same one you had in high school
Plenty of people don't win the lottery the first few thousand times they play
I hear yoga does amazing things for people who incessantly glorify yoga
I'm confident your brains will help you pass the bar exam and your tits will help you win cases
If you put your mind to it, you can achieve anything outside of the entertainment industry
Good luck not hitting the wall and shitting your pants in public
I have no doubt you'll be gainfully employed and in the mood to have sex with me in no time
Your presentation will be inspirational for anyone actually listening
