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If bedbugs can go from homes to places of business, maybe you can too

Remember, it's just a test. If you fuck up, it doesn't mean you're a fuckup. That said, try not to fuck this up. It's pretty important

I'd like you to become a Facebook fan of someone or something you've never heard of

Best of luck finishing a marathon that doesn't involve episodes of Law & Order

There's no way I'd miss seeing you run the marathon unless I get distracted during the 4 seconds when you go by

Let's stop rushing to find husbands and start rushing to freeze our eggs

Once you pass the bar exam, you may want to warn future clients that after a few drinks you'll divulge anything to anybody

I'm confident your brains will help you pass the bar exam and your tits will help you win cases

May passing the bar exam be the first step in a brilliant legal career that will be publicly shredded if you're ever nominated to the Supreme Court

It must be exciting to take the bar exam at a time when bankers have overtaken lawyers as the most reviled professionals on earth

You may have an advantage against swine flu due to your debilitating obsessive-compulsive hand washing

Don't ever give up on trying to make a pint of Ben & Jerry's last more than one sitting

I bet you'll meet someone as soon as you stop thinking about it, which is to say, probably never

I hope you can handle the pressures of a burgeoning Twitter following

I hope your new source of income won't be the same one you had in high school

I have no doubt you'll be gainfully employed and in the mood to have sex with me in no time

I hope you're the least fat, bald, broke, embarrassingly drunk person at your high school reunion

Just wanted to wish you luck on the bar exam and remind you it's still my dream to marry a doctor or lawyer

As a show of support while you study for the bar exam, I'll barely mention my many leisure activities

I hope you pass the bar exam and get me probation for my eventual DUIs

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