•  

    Good luck passing the bar exam and my deepest early condolences if you don't.

    Good luck passing the bar exam and my deepest early condolences if you don't

  •  

    If you put your mind to it, you can achieve anything outside of the entertainment industry.

    If you put your mind to it, you can achieve anything outside of the entertainment industry

  •  

    You do really well with chicks for one of my uglier friends.

    You do really well with chicks for one of my uglier friends

  •  

    I hope you become famous enough to not bother returning my calls.

    I hope you become famous enough to not bother returning my calls

  •  

    I've come to admire your complete disinterest in being fashionable.

    I've come to admire your complete disinterest in being fashionable

  •  

    Glad you've started to recognize your raging, long-term, absurdly obvious alcoholism.

    Glad you've started to recognize your raging, long-term, absurdly obvious alcoholism

  •  

    Good luck not hitting the wall and shitting your pants in public.

    Good luck not hitting the wall and shitting your pants in public

  •  

    Your new haircut looks great and exactly the same to me.

    Your new haircut looks great and exactly the same to me

  •  

    Carpe diem before the glaciers drown us.

    Carpe diem before the glaciers drown us

  •  

    I hear yoga does amazing things for people who incessantly glorify yoga.

    I hear yoga does amazing things for people who incessantly glorify yoga

  •  

    You're surprisingly well-educated for an American.

    You're surprisingly well-educated for an American

  •  

    I've come up with some great ideas on how to make you a better person.

    I've come up with some great ideas on how to make you a better person

  •  

    I could totally see you getting into gum or mints.

    I could totally see you getting into gum or mints

  •  

    That outfit would go great with a personality.

    That outfit would go great with a personality

  •  

    You've gotten much better at lying.

    You've gotten much better at lying

  •  

    You're going to make some lucky feline very happy someday.

    You're going to make some lucky feline very happy someday

  •  

    Plenty of people don't win the lottery the first few thousand times they play.

    Plenty of people don't win the lottery the first few thousand times they play

  •  

    You've really got a knack for being bored.

    You've really got a knack for being bored

  •  

    You're going to start attracting women now that you have a girlfriend.

    You're going to start attracting women now that you have a girlfriend

  •  

    I'm so proud and jealous of you.

    I'm so proud and jealous of you

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