Now that word is out about the Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie split, some folks are imagining that Jennifer Aniston, Pitt's first wife, must be somewhere pounding Smart Water and gloating. But Brad and Jen divorced over 10 years ago, and she's long since moved on with her life. On top of that, she's now happily married to Justin Theroux, who most people probably wouldn't kick out of bed for eating crackers topped with raw rotten meat. There's really no reason she'd be happy to hear about her ex-husband's divorce, especially given that the Jolie-Pitts have six children (breaking up a family is rarely cause for celebration).

Actually, Aniston seems like a really empathetic person, the kind who wouldn't really feel pleasure in the face of someone else's pain. She might feel some sense of vindication (who knows) that she wasn't the only wife Pitt decided to cheat on, but she's got to be so goddamn sick of being dragged into the drama over and over throughout the years.

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Some people act as if they think she's been doing nothing but staring at her phone and pining for Pitt since they divorced. SORRY, JEN (wait, she's not reading this). But she'll get through this divorce, too, and emerge triumphant once again (probably easier this time since the breakup doesn't actually involve her).

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