The world is reeling from the bombshell announcement that Angelina Jolie has filed for divorce from Brad Pitt, dissolving the Brangelina alliance that has stood strong for 12 years. But who is really to blame for this catastrophe? As Someecards' top speculator, I resolved to find out. Here are the prime suspects:
Suspect #1: Brad Pitt
At first glance, Tyler Durden is the obvious suspect. Reports are claiming that Jolie decided to divorce him after her private eye discovered he was cheating on her with French seductress Marion Cotillard, but isn't that a little too obvious? Hollywood couples cheat all the time—they're just too attractive to adhere to the common rules of fidelity that us uggos live by.
Suspect #2: Angelina Jolie
Could Jolie have been cheating too? There's no evidence of this, but that won't stop me from speculating wildly like a real journalist. Maybe she met some hot idealistic young volunteer while doing charity work for refugees abroad, and then they started a torrid love affair. Even if it's not true, that would make great fan fiction.